When we began imagining who the first woman in Tales of Hers might be, Jessica Urlichs was the name we kept returning to.
A Sunday Times bestselling author and poet, Jessica writes about motherhood in a way that feels less like reading and more like being seen. The raw, the messy, the beautiful. The parts that are hard to say out loud. The parts you feel at 2am when everything is too much and somehow, everything at once. Over a million people follow her words, and we are two of them.
She also, as it turns out, lives in Christchurch. The same small city we do.
When we asked her if she would be the first woman to sit inside Tales of Hers, she said yes immediately. Which still feels, honestly, like a quiet miracle.
To Jessica - thank you. For your time, your words, and for saying yes. It means more to us than we can properly say. We are so grateful, and a little in awe, to have you as the first voice inside Tales of Hers.
We sent her one leading question that we will always begin with in Tales of Hers. What chapter are you in right now, and how do you dress for it? A few more questions followed, and what came back stayed with us long after we read it.
On the chapter she is in.
"I'm a mum of 3 lovely and very busy children aged 8, 7 and 3, and only recently have I decided to bring the joy back to getting dressed again. I still give the odd nod to active wear (even when I'm not being active) because it's comfy! But what I have realised is that feeling and looking good can also be comfy and playing around with different items and colours is a lot of fun. I love a crop sweater with barrel jeans, or I cheat and go athleisure (active wear with a cute trench)."
There is something in those four words “bringing the joy back” that we have been turning over ever since. Because for a while, in motherhood, the joy of getting dressed quietly slips away. Not by choice, but by necessity. Outfits become functional. Practical. Forgiving of sticky hands and exhaustion. You wear what works, not always what you love. And then, in your own time, the joy comes back.
So much of what OF HERS is built around lives in that return. The idea that ease and beauty are not opposites. That the OF HERS woman wants ease, but never at the expense of beauty. That getting dressed, even in the seasons that ask everything of you, can still feel like a small, grounding pleasure - clothing that moves with her, and feels like her, even on the days she has nothing left to give.
On letting go, and what she has made space for.
"I am in a season of motherhood now where the term 'I would die for them' is only as good as 'if I live for them'. I want them to see the things that make me tick outside of motherhood, the things that make me laugh, the friendships that make me feel full, the walks, the music, and the books I squirrel away to read when I can. These are all parts of who I am, and I want them to see that, just as I did growing up. I remember always feeling happy when I saw Mum playing netball, she'd drag me along and sure I felt a little bored at times, but I also saw a spark in her, another side of her I think we need to see. It's given me permission to pursue many things in motherhood, we're still human and women."
We read this answer many times. If I live for them. What a thought to carry into a Tuesday. What a thought to carry into the rest of your life.
On getting dressed.
"It depends on the day and the sleep I get! But I love getting dressed for the most part, I don't think we ever stop playing dress ups! We just lose the fairy wings."
We loved this. The idea that the impulse never really leaves us. We just trade the fairy wings for something else. A favourite knit. A coat that hugs you. A pair of jeans that feel like home.
On feeling most like herself.
"Can I say jeans and a nice top? Millennials will know…."
She can. We will co-sign this one entirely.
On a woman who shaped her.
"My nana passed down a vintage Burberry coat to me not long ago. I hardly ever buy myself splurge-type things so this was a real treat. I told her recently while we were chatting that I really wanted to buy myself my first proper designer handbag as a treat (I am so frugal usually with money) and she said, 'Do it, life is short and you deserve it.' It was the most welcome permission I needed in that moment. Life is short, and we DO all need a little treat."
A coat. A nana. A small, permission passed between two women who love each other.
So much of how we come to feel at home in ourselves is shaped this way. Not in grand gestures, but in the women who go before us and tell us, gently, that we are allowed.
On the next chapter.
"Feeling more comfortable in my own skin, I think there is so much pressure placed on us to change how we look and be younger, younger, younger… Survival is the goal and age is the privilege; I think the best is yet to come."
Survival is the goal and age is the privilege.
We will be carrying that one with us for a while.
There is a reason we wanted Jessica to be the first.
She writes about motherhood in the way we want to think about womanhood. Honestly. Generously. Without flattening it or tidying it up. Without pretending the hard parts are not also where the most love lives. She gives so many women permission to be many things at once. A mother. A reader. A friend. A woman who still, sometimes, just wants a really good top.
As we move toward Mother's Day, we could not think of a more fitting voice to begin with.
To the mothers, the daughters, the women who are many things all at once, the ones bringing the joy back to getting dressed again, the ones still becoming.
This one is for you.
With love,
Georgie& Rachael x
You can find more of Jessica's writing at jessicaurlichs.com, and follow her on Instagram @jessurlichs.
